of la cokaina, la santa fe, and guilt

thought one:

In the coca growing areas 2.2 lbs of cocaine cost $1,200, which goes up to $1,800 in Lima and then leaps to $25,000 in the United States and $54,000 in Europe. The paste can be smoked and is left for local consumption in Peru.

thought two:

i have so much to say... your eyes would fail for the reading of it. undoubtedly, i need a refresher course in the depths of my own ignorance to maintain perspective. its just that living is so educational! and for a neophyte, every day is a quantum leap... ay, this existance!

misericordia... we're just a bunch of mud humans trying to figure out what to do with a soul... may we be good little mud humans... the most soulish mud humans possible.

thought three: of faith

it seems to me that the power of faith does not lie in our belief at all, i think. i would say. possibly. i don't see God taking out a measuring cup to see how much faith we've worked up and is it enough to bake a cake...

faith is... trusting God.

that "trust" contains implied LOVE.

1) We have been loved by God in a big way; He has been good to us.

2) We love Him because He's poured ("derramado") it into our hearts and we can't help ourselves.

3) God is perfect, so as we're loving our Father, we discover only MORE and DEEPER depths and heights of goodness and love.

4) We TRUST that our Papá will behave according to His customary goodness in X situation.

5) Our Papá is touched by the love and trust of His children. Delighting to do what is good, He carefully plans and orchestrates good in X situation and watches with anticipation to see our response.

6) We cry and praise and exult in our Papá and Redeemer. He's so GOOD! Just like we knew He was... and MORE.

but don't we see... we're trusting our Father's CHARACTER... His excellent PERSON.... not His ability to conform to our wishes. blasphemy. who do you think God is?! when He's given you EVERYTHING and wants you to receive even more of His goodness, how are you going to make Him a to-do list and say, "Lord, becasue i'm sure that it's Your nature to obey me when i get excited enough, do this... and this... and this..."

boy, gone!

thought four: of guilt

we have (it appears to me) the divine MANDATE not walk around feeling guilty all the time. what could be a worse testimony than guilty, worried, depressed Christians? that is no gospel to a guilty, worried, depressed world.

so what do we do with guilt? what was that, "Repentance is the daughter of hope and the denial of despair," you say? well put... well put...

but i do want to think more about (i MUST think more about) distinguishing between false and real guilt...

"Repentance is the daughter of hope and the denial of despair." ~ St. John Climacus

thought one:
before one glibbly asserts that "all sins are forgiveable," remember that repentance is a gift, not a self-willed appropriation of the ever-refueled "Free Parking" of grace.

If one is planning to sin and then to ask repentance:
1) doubt your salvation
2) hope you don't die first (that'd be a REAL hard one to explain...)
3) read Hebrews
4) hope that the door you open to Satan isn't kicked off it's hinges and your whole house burned down.

(sorry for switching into second person. grazi, mein Turi)

thought two:

“ 'Repentance is the daughter of hope and the denial of despair.' ~ St. John Climacus

It is not despondency but eager expectation; it is not to feel that one has reached an impasse, but to take the way out. It is not self-hatred but the affirmation of my true self as made in God’s image. To repent is to look, not downward at my own shortcomings, but upward at God’s love; not backward with self-reproach, but forward with trustfulness. It is to see, not what I have failed to be, but what by the grace of Christ I can yet become. " [sorry for forgetting to cite my sources! muchas gracias to the wisdom of Fr. Stephen Freeman]

i just want to bold, underline, and italize the whole kit n kaboodle... prepositions and all.

okay, so i didn't find the above quote or even stumble upon the commentary. it was electronically spoon-fed, as it were, but sweet riches and thank goodness for it! what a faith, yall! be grateful today. rejoice! we are free from guilt, not by denial or destraction, but in the most real of all realities... our Savior has made us WHOLE.

blessed be God.

thought three:

take heart, comrades. winter will not last forever.

"Those who teach me have my everlasting respect" ~Arabic proverb

so, inspired by an axegrinder typically-ingenious post, i have a question for you, dear reader:

If, in this strange land of hypotheticality, you were compelled to give up one of the following, what would it be and why? What does that say about you?

~ SIGHT ~

~ HEARING ~

~ MEMORY ~

"what a terrible dignity is man's..."

"Here is a game you can play for months: Rake over the past, sift and tinker with it, trying to rewrite just one small part.

What a terrible dignity is man's, that his every little word, carelessly strewn, should alter the configuration of the universe for all time- and even have repercussions into eternity." ~Andree Seu

New Year's Thoughts:

Love: (v.) (n.)
-my God -the brothers- those on the Outside -without reproach -without hypocrisy -no record of wrongs -kindness -patience -hoping all things -faith that walks and talks -trust -no stumbling blocks -fervent affection -wisdom -sweet meaningful sobriety -joy -willing to yield -extravagant -not self-seeking -servanthood -cheerfulness -unceasing prayer

Truth:
no shadows. no obscurity. nothing hidden or withheld that ought to be shared. clear living. transparency. sincerity. no pretentions. the "good" honesty. perspective, no blindness. discernment. loving the Bread of Life too much to fulfill the hungers of the flesh. zeal. sacrifice. gratitude. rememberence. thought. meditation. cohesion = truth applied.

No regrets:
-"what if"s assuaged -responsibility -time appreciated, not empty, not afflicting -days, hours, minutes -greetings, farewells -opportunities -"the terribly dignity that is man's...", redeemed -resources invested with all assurance -no words of the flesh -no careless offense (eyes fixed soberly on Jesus, won't He keep me?) -no "i should have done... i should have said" -perfect love casting out fear -abiding in Christ -perfection in love -"what is your rationale?" "hmmmm... it's just that... i love my Jesus..." (beside myself for Christ)

See the Glory:
faith. prayer. self-lessness. prayer. the Church. prayer. fear. prayer. worship. prayer. adoration. prayer.

"Where is Jesus? i am THERE, then."

"i am here... where is Jesus? come, Lord..."

***

Did I not tell you that if you believe you will see the glory of God? ~Jesus

***

de veras?!? vamos ver...

andale, 2007