Turns out fear, like anger, is complicated.

We moderns are so one-dimensional in our feelings. Happiness good, shame and fear bad. Anger is okay. Unless you're a bully. It's okay to be sad. Feel your feelings. Talk about them.

Ancients, especially Scripture: We feel a lot of things, and a lot deeper, frankly. And show more than talk. Is it right though in this situation? Anger, wrath, fear, terror, guilt, shame, remorse, repentance, joy, gladness, rejoicing, exceedingly great joy. "The anger of the Lord burned", "It is right for me to be angry, even unto death," Saul was wroth, Ahab was sad, David and Jonathan wept, Joseph wept, I was glad when they said unto me 'Let us go into the house of the Lord', David danced, "Herod was very glad", The chief priests were glad when Judas volunteered... 

Scripture teaches us what humans be like. And...

Is it right? Is this the right provocation, time, place, and degree? Is it right to let loose? (It may be.) What should rule this feeling? "Guard your heart, for it is the well-spring of life."

 cf: Ephesians 5:33: "Women, phobeo your husbands."

(!)

That verse is generally translated "respect"/ "reverence". Not the general usage of it, however.

Thought one:

Healthy Fear/ Respect

to be afraid of acting badly (wrongly- misstepping) towards another because of his/ her/ its power, nature, authority, while TRUSTING that power, nature, authority to be good
- Nuclear power
- Electricity
- Wild animals - Driving a car
- Police officers when driving a car
- Children towards parents/ authorities
- Employee toward boss
- Soldiers toward superiors
- Christians toward God
- Wives toward husbands, per Ephesians 5:33 (!!)

Unhealthy Fear:
to be afraid of a person's power, nature, authority because you distrust their irrational misuse or harmful effects
- Enemies with nuclear power
- Being caught in an unpredictable lightning storm
- Rabid animals - A drunk driver
- Corrupt police officers
- Children toward abusive/ unpredictable parents
- Employees toward abusive bosses
- Civilians toward corrupt soldiers
- (unbelievers toward) false ideas of God
- Wives toward abusive husbands

Unhealthy Fearlessness/ Disrespect
to be unafraid of a person's power, nature, authority because of apathy, recklessness, lack of integrity, or abdication of authority
- Carelessness with nuclear power/ lightning
- Driving drunk or distracted (PHONES!)
- Lawbreakers
- Children toward lax parents/ authorities
- Irresponsible employees toward bosses
- Soldiers toward distant authorities
- Unbelievers toward of God
- Wives toward husbands (!)

Thought Two: https://biblehub.com/greek/5399.htm

Summary and Theological Reflection
    "Phobeō uncovers the heart’s object of ultimate concern. Scripture never denies the emotion of fear; it redirects it. Rightly ordered, fear honors God, produces wisdom, and energizes mission. Disordered, it muzzles testimony and spurns grace. The gospel therefore both instills and expels fear: instills awe before the Holy One, expels dread through the perfect love revealed at the cross and guaranteed by the resurrection."

"Semantic Range and Nuances

Strong’s Greek 5399 (phobeō) moves along a spectrum from healthy reverence to crippling terror. Context determines whether the term conveys (1) worshipful awe toward God, (2) prudent caution, or (3) faith-less dread. The same root can therefore describe the holy fear that produces obedience (Philippians 2:12) and the servile fear that paralyses (Matthew 25:25)."

"Fear in Relation to Christ the Messiah

The disciples’ journey exposes misplaced fear and invites faith. When the storm is stilled “they were terrified and asked one another, ‘Who is this? Even the wind and the sea obey Him!’” (Mark 4:41). Yet moments of dread are answered with messianic assurance: “Do not be afraid; only believe” (Mark 5:36). Post-resurrection appearances carry the same refrain (Matthew 28:5,10), proving that the risen Lord, not hostile powers, commands the believer’s destiny."

"Evangelistic and Missional Contexts

Luke highlights “God-fearing” Gentiles (Acts 10:2; 13:26) whose awakened conscience responds readily to the gospel."

..."Such fear is never irrational; it is the sober recognition of divine holiness and sovereignty that nurtures worship (Revelation 15:4) and righteous living (Colossians 3:22)."

"Fear as Dread or Cowardice to be Overcome

Herod feared public opinion (Matthew 14:5); Pilate feared Caesar (John 19:8); the council feared the crowds (Acts 5:26). Such fear enslaves, distorts judgment, and opposes the purposes of God. The parable of the talents unmasks this bondage: “So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground” (Matthew 25:25). Scripture consistently contrasts this fruitless fear with courageous obedience born of faith (Hebrews 11:23,27)."

Thought Three: Matthew Henry <3

"The apostle assigns the reason of this submission from wives: For the husband is the head of the wife, Eph. 5:23. The metaphor is taken from the head in the natural body, which, being the seat of reason, of wisdom, and of knowledge, and the fountain of sense and motion, is more excellent than the rest of the body. [But it's not much good without it!] God has given the man the pre-eminence and a right to direct and govern by creation, and in that original law of the relation, Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Whatever there is of uneasiness in this, it is an effect of sin coming into the world. Generally, too, the man has (what he ought to have) a superiority in wisdom and knowledge. He is therefore the head, even as Christ is the head of the church. ... The apostle adds, and he is the Saviour of the body. Christ’s authority is exercised over the church for the saving of her from evil, and the supplying of her with every thing good for her. In like manner should the husband be employed for the protection and comfort of his spouse; and therefore she should the more cheerfully submit herself unto him. So it follows, Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ (Eph. 5:24), with cheerfulness, with fidelity, with humility, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing—in every thing to which their authority justly extends itself, in every thing lawful and consistent with duty to God."

"II. The duty of husbands (on the other hand), is to love their wives (Eph. 5:25); for without this they would abuse their superiority and headship. ...The love of Christ to the church is proposed as an example of this, which love of his is a sincere, a pure, an ardent, and constant affection, and that notwithstanding the imperfections and failures that she is guilty of. ... while such exemplars are offered to both, and so much is required of each, neither has reason to complain of the divine injunctions. The love which God requires from the husband in behalf of his wife will make amends for the subjection which [H]e demands from her to her husband; and the prescribed subjection of the wife will be an abundant return for that love of the husband which God has made her due. "

"And the wife see that she reverence her husband.” Reverence consists of love and esteem, which produce a care to please, and of fear, which awakens a caution lest just offence be given. That the wife thus reverence her husband is the will of God and the law of the relation."

thought three: On leaving and cleaving, ahem Americans.

"We are not to understand by this that a man’s obligation to other relations is cancelled upon his marriage, but only that this relation is to be preferred to all others, there being a nearer union between these two than between any others, that the man must rather leave any of those than his wife."