indigestion?!

thought one:

Monday was the first time i've ever wanted to cry for joy. i had often read in books of people doing this but had never felt the inclination. it rather took me off guard; "what is this, indigestion?!?" i said. then i realized, "Oh. Love at first week. i gotcha." it's just... somebody decided to give me the best-looking, sweetest, most sincere, uber-interested, hardest-working kids in our district. [my brother informs me i'm on my honeymoon.]

"let not the one who puts on his armor boast like the one who takes it off." i'm not boasting; i'm amazed. they're beautiful...

wednesday, going through our social studies book, i hear this, "coooool! que chido, mira! i love this book. Miss Hernandez, can i take the book home, please?!"

as we hurried through 400 years of Texas history, i see something out of a dream: all these little brown/beige faces, eyes wide, eyebrows lifted, mouths open. (i do not exaggerate.)

(just wait until we get to the Mexican War. things are gonna get emotional.)

after we discuss a picture of a very groovy-looking Presidente Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana, (Texans know who i'm talking about), i gaze around the room to see several of my hoodlums with their uniform collars "popped"... early 1800's, Santa Ana- style.

now, tell me please how i'm not supposed to gush.

thought two:

sometimes our proximity to a person takes away our compassion for them. i dunno how to explain it, but i've seen it in my own life.

maybe, with certain persons, we should write our a brief summary of their "story"- why they need us to show them compassion- and then do so, regardless of their personality, baggage, or how they've rubbed us in the past. because, really, what ARE we here for if not to rescue the perishing/ care for the dying, regardless of their congeniality, cooperation, or general likeableness?

all the perks of life can be done in heaven. i can know God in heaven. ditto "suck the marrow out of life." i can eat good foods, enjoy good friends, think good thoughts, love beautiful things... in heaven. and while it's nice to get previews of all that here, the only real things i can't do in heaven are the hard things here: walk by faith, not sight; endure persecution; call people out of darkness and into life; and love those who get no love.

THAT'S IT FOLKS.

let me know if i missed something.

(besides sin and marriage, etc.)

thought three:

on recent birthdays (of others), i've started to have this sadness.... this awareness... that one more year of life means one year closer to death. likewise, even as i celebrate 1 week completed with my kiddos, i realized that's 1 week less i have to spend with them... and 1 week closer (for them) to adolescence, adulthood, and the ugly wretchedness of the world that wants to eat them.

Time, you are not my friend.

but blessed be God that He does not change! He'll never leave. Christ already did death and is now definitely, extremely, irrevocably alive. Thank You, heavenly Companion, that You will not die on me. O, that all my beloveds be brethren with just an ugly river and some tough years to pass before we meet again on the other side...