You might be a missionary/ MK/ expat/ third culture/ non-american if you...

(from Latin American Evangelist July- October 2006 and Andrew and Deborah Kerr, with occasional editing :-))

... greet everyone in the room when all you need to do is say hello and sit down.
...read a nat'l geographic and get homesick
...have to stop and think about what to do with used toilet paper.
...keep switching languages when speaking with good friends.
...shake hands with the policeman who stops your car.
...think a 2 hour, 7 song church service is too short.
...can't finish a sentence en un solo idioma.
...have 6 different varieties of ants in your house and you ignore them all.
...your children think it's acceptable to kiss strangers.
...your kids can recite from memory the airplane safety speech, but draw a blank on the "Pledge of Allegiance"
...bring a bag lunch and a novel when you go to the bank.
...know your height in meters and your weight in kilos, and think 40 degrees is some terrible heat.
...are okay driving without brakes, but are frantic without a horn.
...are surprised when the electricity has stayed on all week.
... can't figure out how to turn the water on in a U.S. bathroom.
...pull up to the gas station and wait for someone to come out and pump the gas.
...point with your chin.
...motion "come here" with your palm facing down.
...walk into a church and are given 2 minutes warning that, not only are you speaking, but you are translating for yourself.
...don't have any pages left in your passport.You flew before you could walk.
...consider the U.S. a foreign country.
...have a passport, but no driver's license.
...have memorized the calling card number.
... uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times in your life story
... watch nature documentaries, and you think about how good that would be if it were fried.
... know exactly the amount allowed overhead and to be checked, and how much you have to pay if it's over...
...go to the U.S., and get sick from the food
... send your family peanut butter and Kool-Aid for Christmas.
...have strong opinions about how to cook bugs.
...live at school, work in the tropics, and go home for vacation.
...have trouble replying definitively to "where is home?"
...do your devotions in another language.
...ask long-lost friends what continent they are on
...keep dreaming of a green Christmas.
... tell people where you're from, and their eyes get big.
...have been told, "Oh, I knew an American once..." and then asked if you know him or her.
... are grateful for the speed and efficiency of the U.S. Postal Service.
... can say that the majority of your friends don't speak English as a first language.
...believe vehemently that football is played with a round, spotted ball.
...know the difference between patriotism and nationalism.
...tell Americans that democracy isn't the only viable form of government.
...realize what a small world it is, after all.
... think all preaching sounds better under a corrugated tin roof.
...know raw fish [with limon!] tastes better than cooked.
...going to the market is the highlight of your day.
...sing in the shower in a language other than English.
...carry Bibles in two languages to church.
...watch an English language video and read the foreign language subtitles.
...dream in a foreign language.
...can't find shoes to fit your feet in any of the shoe stores.
...are used to a crowd gathering around the computer when you check your E-mail.
...have explained the difference between "The cow is on the field" and "The cow is in the field."
... consider parasites, dysentery, or tropical diseases to be appropriate dinner conversation.
...have stopped in the middle of an argument to find the translation of a word you just used.
...hyperventilate at the sight of mangoes
....know what REAL coffee tastes like.

i love you guys. hang in there...