28 marzo 2006

you think you have it bad... !POLITIKAS!

THE CONTESTANTS:

O captain my captain?
Ollanta Humala
"The etnocaceristas therefore strongly embrace identification with their Incan heritage, nationalization of the country's industries (beginning with recently privatized industries), the reintroduction of the death penalty, the legalization of coca cultivation, and a strong anti-Chilean stance" [yes, down with the Chileans.]



The Latin American Kennedy?
Alan García
"His presidency was marked by bouts of hyperinflation, social turmoil, human rights violations, increasing violence, increase of blackouts in Lima, international financial isolation, a failed attempt to confiscate the 2 main banks and economic downturn." [but he's really a great speaker!]



Mrs. President?
Lourdes Flores
"si la justicia no es rapido, no es justicia" if the justicia is not rapid, it's not justice.
"es injusto que los que mas trabajan sean los mas pobres" it is injust that those that work the most are the poorest. [two lefts make this one alright... plus, she kinda looks like my aunt]



Good old Fujimori is in jail in Chile right now and quite preoccupied with his upcoming nupitals. Plus, Peru says he's not allowed to run for president until 2010.



As to our friend the venerable Chairman Gonzalo, never fear- he has not quite departed yet... i believe he, too, is sitting in some jail right now, brooding, even as i type... awaiting retrial...


Personally, i vote for Tupac Amaru II, but a) he was drawn and quartered a couple of centuries ago and b) i am not a peruvian citizen.


Where did Vargas Llosa run off to now? oh yeah... europe.