I'm just a negative person.

And my negativity, because it's "authentic" - "analytical", "honest", and critical- yup, that's you alright. But the worst you. Dark and rancid, twisted, sometimes toxic. The "you" Scripture calls the sinful nature, damned and devilish. The "you" the devils can relate to, easy target, soon persuaded to do the will of the evil one. Authentic, though.

But what about humility as authenticity? Authentic perspective that can pause long enough to play the "at least" game, my new favorite. 

"At least the birds still sing." 

"At least there's coffee." 

"At least my village hasn't been raided and my family murdered." 

Yes, there will be times the darkness is so dark you can't play any games at all. Then, you should probably go to sleep. 

But when you awake, try to find some reality that doesn't skew dark, whining, grating, condemning, lacking. Get more data to be about and stop justifying your myopia. Proud darkness may be real, but it's not all that is. 

Who's fault?

 Blaming one of the most dangerous thought patterns, because... You're right. But that's all you are. You're not productive, or redemptive, or problem-solving, or forgiving, or fruitful. All you are is right. And what is that worth? Who are you talking to? The whole world in every moment of non-productivity? Are you going to make a a sign so you don't have to repeat yourself, or just keep repeating yourself, whether anyone is listening or not? That is an option. And when you are old (starting now), that will be the easiest story to tell- sad and full of injustice. What a story to tell. 

 God, the great 3rd person omniscient, reliable narrator, a littlemore objective than we're comfortable with- rightly weighing each heartless burden thrust upon us, noting already each injustice we've been dealt and passed on, and esteeming each cup of water given... "Pour out your hearts before Him, all ye peoples For He is a refuge for us." Which is not to say a sympathetic ear who nods with empathy. He is not "that friend". 

 But instead the one who may tell you to go the extra mile to see the glory of God, or give you an idea how to bless your persecutor, or give you bread to feed your enemy as the quickest way to pour coals on his head. You will not, probably, come up with these "solutions" yourself, because they may not solve your definition of The Problem. But you may find that going your way, you are healed of the disease you didn't even notice anymore. Or learn a lesson you never wanted to learn, becoming a person you never would have chosen to become, understanding God and humanity in a way you never thought necessary. But not a bitter, demented radio of wrongs and needs. You won't become that.