"The suppression of comment was always difficult for him and the movement of his facial muscles was an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual victory."

-Elizabeth Goudge, The Scent of Water

Answering Myself

Long I've struggled with 1) self-denial v. enjoying the good life; 2) the necessity faith in the supernatural when it just doesn't seem real; 3) the fear that behind everything is nothing; 4) creeping neuroticism/ darkness. 

I don't have the answers, but I do have thoughts after a doozy of a year. Seems like "return to first principles" is actually really sound. 

WHAT I WOULD SAY TO MYSELF 

1) The center? key? is to accept that God is God and we are creature. To be able to see the good around us as freely given, not deserved, is light in the midst of darkness, joy, a really good sign. However, our self-centered heart will take the good, not as granted even, but as nothing. Our due. Inevitable. Bare minimum, and not even sufficient. When we are the center, ingratitude is the rule, and envy, covetousness, greed, and every evil thing follow, trying to satisfy ourselves as God. We have the appetite of the abyss. We have something, but not what we want? "It is right for me to be angry, even unto death." To be able to perceive good is a gift (grace!) from God. The first step to recovery is gratitude. But I can't even make myself feel grateful! Maybe the first step is to recognize the disease. Agree with God that we are sick, bad, mean, and full of darkness. "Wretched man that I am! Who will save me from this body of sin?" 

Then, maybe we can appreciate some light. Then, maybe the humility that any good doesn't have to be. God would still be a Creator of good if He took it all away from me, if I were destroyed. I have no rights, only privileges. We die so quickly. That is either because we are meaningless matter, our selfishness the obvious mechanism of animalistic will to survive, or because meaning comes from God, giving life to dust, and our selfishness ignores Him. We in our rebellion can choose meaninglessness, which is unlivable, or to imagine ourselves the creators of meaning, which is illusion. (So good, the image of our center + our desires as spokes on a wheel. The more we place ourselves at the center, the more susceptible we are to "logismoi," demonic insinuation and manipulation pushing us further along the spokes of lust, greed, hate. "We know they are demonic because they are universal.") 

2) Suffering helps to clarify. But it's not in and of itself a good thing. It's suffering! But if it can be used for good, for humility, for teachability, for recognizing that happiness is fleeting, that God is God, and we die very quickly, then even suffering can be blessed. But it needs the intervention of God to redeem it, or it's suffering in a world of nothingness. Our choice is to look towards God. To find what He says that we can "amen."

3) Can't "believe"? Hope and truth are good starting place for faith. (The whole truth- seeing the good as well as the evil.) One can pray for faith. One can pray for hope. God is the one who answers with light, or we perish. It is by grace we are saved through faith, not of ourselves, lest any man should boast. But don't hedge your bets. Build a life invested in the Resurrection. That "proves" it backwards and forwards, by any mercy of God possible. 

4) Self-denial: We've got a self inside as strong-willed, selfish, and unreasonable as a raw toddler. Toddlers ought not be loosed on the world, and certainly don't do a lot of good for anybody. And they at least are cute, small, and ignorant. Our internal toddler is overgrown, merciless, manipulative, brilliantly self-justifying, and unrelenting. Toddler metaphor aside, we are all capable of becoming narcissists, our feelings and desires real, with all others NPCs. God alone can fix that. He can take us by our shoulders and shake us, "Do you see this woman?!" He can teach love and self-forgetfulness where there was only self love and self-centered hate before. In the flesh nothing good dwells. On the road to life, we have to die to the self's supremacy, or self will kill the fruit of the Spirit and impede the work of God. It (self as center) is poison to all relationships, to every good work. To be carnally minded is death, but to be spirituality-minded is life and peace. 

I praise God through Jesus Christ Our Lord- through whom we have received the reconciliation. God loves us- body + soul union (hence the Incarnation) and cares for our needs. He just doesn't find them the center of His universe. WE are the secondary characters; He is the protagonist. And when we accept a world "not vague, not lonely, not governed by me only," we can find treasure hid in a field: joy, contentment, gratitude, discipline, fruit. 

5) Gifts are good and to be received. But a life of grasping is a bad way to live. We will never be satisfied. The happiness will be more elusive. Our standards and complaints will grow steeper and steeper- the law of diminishing returns and the book of Ecclesiastes. All it takes for me to be happy is for everything to go right always. Or, we can learn to be content. Dear God, what a gift, contentment.

6) Ultimate truth and certainty are the Lord's, the Omniscient. Ours is to seek his grace, his mercy, his intervention. Who knows if the Lord will turn and leave a blessing?

I'm just a negative person.

And my negativity, because it's "authentic" - "analytical", "honest", and critical- yup, that's you alright. But the worst you. Dark and rancid, twisted, sometimes toxic. The "you" Scripture calls the sinful nature, damned and devilish. The "you" the devils can relate to, easy target, soon persuaded to do the will of the evil one. Authentic, though.

But what about humility as authenticity? Authentic perspective that can pause long enough to play the "at least" game, my new favorite. 

"At least the birds still sing." 

"At least there's coffee." 

"At least my village hasn't been raided and my family murdered." 

Yes, there will be times the darkness is so dark you can't play any games at all. Then, you should probably go to sleep. 

But when you awake, try to find some reality that doesn't skew dark, whining, grating, condemning, lacking. Get more data to be about and stop justifying your myopia. Proud darkness may be real, but it's not all that is. 

Who's fault?

 Blaming one of the most dangerous thought patterns, because... You're right. But that's all you are. You're not productive, or redemptive, or problem-solving, or forgiving, or fruitful. All you are is right. And what is that worth? Who are you talking to? The whole world in every moment of non-productivity? Are you going to make a a sign so you don't have to repeat yourself, or just keep repeating yourself, whether anyone is listening or not? That is an option. And when you are old (starting now), that will be the easiest story to tell- sad and full of injustice. What a story to tell. 

 God, the great 3rd person omniscient, reliable narrator, a littlemore objective than we're comfortable with- rightly weighing each heartless burden thrust upon us, noting already each injustice we've been dealt and passed on, and esteeming each cup of water given... "Pour out your hearts before Him, all ye peoples For He is a refuge for us." Which is not to say a sympathetic ear who nods with empathy. He is not "that friend". 

 But instead the one who may tell you to go the extra mile to see the glory of God, or give you an idea how to bless your persecutor, or give you bread to feed your enemy as the quickest way to pour coals on his head. You will not, probably, come up with these "solutions" yourself, because they may not solve your definition of The Problem. But you may find that going your way, you are healed of the disease you didn't even notice anymore. Or learn a lesson you never wanted to learn, becoming a person you never would have chosen to become, understanding God and humanity in a way you never thought necessary. But not a bitter, demented radio of wrongs and needs. You won't become that.

"Peace Through Strength requires — unsurprisingly — actual strength."

https://www.theflipside.io/archives/yemen-2

(Of course, I read most foreign policy through the lens of child training... it is more relevant that way...)

"Any use of force carries the risk of escalation, but [they] started this exchange, and the failure [...] to respond for weeks has produced its own escalation."

"a series of geopolitically unsuccessful, inconsequential, mostly reactive unilateral actions, with no end game. Underlying it all is the sense that no one is particularly frightened, respectful, or even wary of [our] power anymore."

And, from a libertarian:

“None of these fights have any mandate from the American people."

Where does true authority come from?

In Fine Form

J. Peterson- How to Raise Kids You Actually Like

On Sanity

"... a man's reason is his servant and not his master; that there's no notion a man chooses to receive which his reason will not justify, whether it be mistrust of his neighbor, jealousy of his wife, doubts about his religion, or contempt for his country. 

The only safeguard against fallacies which undermine the strength of the nation morally and economically is a liberal education which affords a wide field for reflection in comparison and abundant data upon which to found sound judgments."

-Charlotte Mason 

“One convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

Thought 1: On opinions

"Free speech is the cornerstone of our democracy, and free speech by definition requires protecting unpopular ideas. Since bad ideas are often unpopular, this will include protecting some bad ones — fighting them with good ideas, rather than threats… The world is not neatly divided into good people who deserve protection and irredeemably bad people who deserve anything they get; it is full of complicated, flawed human beings who can often be better..."

Thought 2: On bad actors
How do you respond to people who will not respect others until it hurts them not to?

...not nicely.

Thought 3:

How does thought 2 square with the teachings of Jesus to turn the other cheek?

Thinking about the concept of authority includes force (painful force) for the good. "ruling with a rod of iron"

Where do we have the authority to use force (in words, deeds), even when it hurts others? Can harshness be loving in the big picture?

Or is calm, measured response not the whole of "turning the other cheek", and there should be more aggressive, honest, confrontational love?.

Acedia

"Anecdotally, in Tsarist Russia, if a wealthy noble woman came down with long-term depression (which can overlap with acedia)allegedly a trusted antidote was to put her in an old peasant woman's house and make her do many of the basic household duties such as fetching the water, sweeping the floor, chopping wood etc. Basic manual tasks were also considered vital to keep spirits up in the Desert Father tradition of early Christian monasticism."

- wiki, on acedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acedia

ref: (it's not about the gay part!)
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/unequallyyoked/2014/11/it-is-not-good-for-man-to-be-alone-a-review-of-gay-and-catholic.html

http://www.hermitary.com/solitude/acedia.html 
It is also good to recall what Abba Moses, one of the most experienced of the fathers, told me. I had not been living long in the desert when I was troubled by listlessness [i.e., acedia]. So I went to him and said: Yesterday I was greatly troubled and weakened by listlessness, and I was not able to free myself from it until I went to see Abba Paul. Abba Moses replied to me by saying: So far from freeing yourself from it, you have surrendered to it completely and become its slave. You must realize that it will attack all the more severely because you have deserted your post, unless from now on you strive to subdue it through patience, prayer and manual labor.

... John Cassian went further than his conversation with Abba Moses to describe the physical symptoms so literally, even to the hour of the day when they peak, that acedia became known as the "noonday devil." He provides an excellent description of the psychology of acedia as well, indicating that acedia is a "tedium or perturbation of heart ... akin to dejection and especially felt by wandering monks and solitaries, a persistent and obnoxious enemy to such as dwell in the desert." He goes on:

When this [acedia] besieges the unhappy mind, it begets aversion from the place, boredom with one's cell, and scorn and contempt for one's brethren, whether they be dwelling with one or some way off, as careless and unspiritual-minded persons.

The listlessness of acedia is akin to a feeling of inertness, John Cassian notes, producing no spiritual fruit, a sense of any practice being "empty of spiritual profit." John's remedy, following desert tradition, is a level of sustained activity approximating rigorous physical labor and what were to be called works of mercy, which fend off cynicisms.

Will + Reason + First Ideas for Kids

"15.The way of the will:
Children should be taught, (a) to distinguish between ‘I want’ and ‘I will.’ (b) That the way to will effectively is to turn our thoughts from that which we desire but do not will. (c) That the best way to turn our thoughts is to think of or do some quite different thing, entertaining or interesting. (d) That after a little rest in this way, the will returns to its work with new vigour. (This adjunct of the will is familiar to us as diversion, whose office it is to ease us for a time from will effort, that we may ‘will’ again with added power.

16. The Way of the Reason.––
We should teach children, too, not to ‘lean’ (too confidently) ‘unto their own understanding,’ because of the function of reason is, to give logical demonstration (a) of mathematical truth; and (b) of an initial idea, accepted by the will. In the former case reason is, perhaps, an infallible guide, but in the second it is not always a safe one, for whether that initial idea be right or wrong, reason will confirm it by irrefragable proofs.

17. Therefore children should be taught, as they become mature enough to understand such teaching that the chief responsibility which rests on them as persons is the acceptance or rejection of initial ideas. To help them in this choice we should give them principles of conduct and a wide range of the knowledge fitted for them. These three principles (15, 16 and 17) should save children from some of the loose thinking and heedless action which cause most of us to live at a lower level than we need."

-Charlotte Mason, Toward a Philosophy of Education

"What time I am [disillusioned], I put my trust in You."

On the dressing of females

Terms:
"1. Immodesty: indecent, esp. with regard to sexual propriety; improper
2. bold, impuedent, or shameless"
"from Latin immodestus 'unrestrained, excessive,'"

Not + modest
" 1. having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one's merits, importance, etc.; free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions.
2. free from ostentation or showy extravagance
3. having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior, speech, dress, etc.; decent"

Decent:
"1. conforming to the recognized standard of propriety, good taste, modesty, etc., as in behavior or speech.
2. respectable; worthy
...5. suitable; appropriate"

Intro.
This is such a visceral issue for religious women. I'd like to look at it a bit analytically.
Immodesty really has to do with the cultural expectations of what a "decent" woman wears. I personally would use the word as little as possible because it is so loaded. 
Perhaps break it down to: acting in a way to draw attention to one's sexuality, particularly in dress. Here we can isolate the issues as a mix of sensuality and vanity, not just cultural expectations. [And of vanity, there's a lot more to be said than just this.]
* * * *
Why dress sexy/ sensually/ provocatively?
Well, it's complicated:
Issue 1: The flesh
Issue 2: Admiration/ acceptance
Issue 3: Love/ security
Issue 4: Power
Issue 5: Class rules
Issue 6: Identity

ISSUE 1: The flesh... the desire to make sure things go well for ME, and being ready to use all available resources for my happiness and well-being (as I perceive it). The selfish desire for power, attention, and admiration.

This would be THE issue for an average male walking around without a t-shirt so girls can see his six-pack or for someone secure, self-confident, and well-loved. However, for teenage girls, it's a bit more complicated.

ISSUE 2: It naturally (not just fleshly) feels good to be admired, accepted, approved of by others and by one's self. 

"I'm normal, okay, fit in, pass inspection."

This is where it gets sticky:
Women in our society are primarily valued, admired, accepted, approved of by others for our bodies.
Seriously.

Please understand what this means. Our entire economy and way of life (in the US especially, but in a modern culture) is driven by advertising. Advertising is a world of abnormally beautiful people.

Women are used more often than men to sell products, so our culture, consisting of average men and women, is accustomed to seeing beautiful women constantly.  This means our expectations of women are conditioned by overexposure to abnormal beauty; We expect a woman to be beautiful.

In our culture, that means we get used to seeing 5'10" models with 35/25/35 bust/waist/hips. This is not just talking about pretty girls, who will always be among us. These are women who have "won the genetic lottery," spend much of their time working out and cultivating their looks, and are airbrushed- pinched in, smoothed out, and enhanced by computers- who fill our attention as much as very motivated, psychologically astute advertisers can manage.

http://www.today.com/style/ideal-real-what-perfect-body-really-looks-men-women-2D79582595
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/01/most-models-meet-criteria-for-anorexia-size-6-is-plus-size-magazine/
http://www.beautyredefined.net/photoshop-phoniness-hall-of-shame/

Our society expects women to be beautiful. People in general do not primarily expect women to be intelligent, kind, or hardworking; they assume she ought to have a nice looking face and body. Our society shows over and over again (music, commercials, movies, tv) that we don't care so much what a woman thinks/does, but how she looks. This varies according to one's circles and age, but teenagers are the most vulnerable demographic to advertising, peer review, and incredibly superficial, shortsighted reckonings of humanity.

What does this have to do with sensual dress? Because sexy and beautiful are synonyms. Whatever a girl's natural beauty rating, sexy is just a clothing choice away. A beautiful woman could turn men's heads in sweatpants; any woman can turn men's heads in the right outfit. Sexy means she at least feels beautiful.

ISSUE 3: Desire for love/ security
Among all the women I have known, the constant life goal, whether admitted or not (but usually admitted) is to find true love. And by love, they mean a romantic relationship with a man.
This involves 1) being picked and 2) maintaining interest. The desire for this outweighs all other goals, desires, and life ambitions. The fear of not being picked and the shame of not having a man's attention outweigh all other achievements, successes, and virtues. (Please multiply this times a factor of 10 when talking about teenagers.) If you find women who honestly disagree, they are very unusual. This desire/ fear is encouraged by virtually every movie, TV show, many novels, untold songs, teenage society/gossip, and most religious groups.

This means things look very precarious for an ugly woman. (And all women find themselves ugly at varying times.)

(Beautiful girls, too, have the added pressure of "if you've got it, flaunt it" and the knowledge that they could easily get even more attention, and from more interesting people, if they would just work it. They have the added temptation of knowing they could compete in the world's games. They've got what it takes to go far.)

I have no idea if most men would count finding true love as the very highest of their life's goals. Very few would admit it, I think. But let's consider: What does an average man need  to be accepted by an average female?
1) No physical deformity; decent looks a plus
2) A minimum of social skills, including confidence (Less if we're talking about teenagers!)
3) No excessively odd habits
4) (Here’s the important one) Pays attention to the girl
5) A job/ potential (N/A to teenagers!)

What does a girl need to be accepted by a guy? (Perceived):
1) Looks
2) Body
3) Looks
4) Nice personality

Keep in mind that the average woman, let alone teenage girl, (I hypothesize) finds a man as being THE KEY to
1) immediate happiness
2) love
3) security/ worth as a human being (that being picked!)
4) future dreams

Yes, feminists have some good points. Would a man make the same list? Dubious. And if he did, all he needs to do, basically, is not be weird and talk to a girl in his range.
Seriously.

ISSUE 4: Understand the lack of power a woman has over her happiness, if she defines it as listed above.

SHE MUST ATTRACT A MAN, OR...

(Your family's not going to get you out of this one. Dad's not going to find someone for you in exchange for two cows. Neighbor boy next door's not going to pick you because you have a strong back and are of childbearing age... [Ha. Except boys get desperate, too. Girls don't necesarily know this, however. I still remember the exhilarating epiphany I had that not all women who get married are skinny. I'm not joking.])

So, a girl looks at her resources.

From her childhood, but especially after age 12, she looks in the mirror and assesses her assets: eyes, lips, hair, shape,  legs, eyelashes, eyebrows, arms, stomach, feet, shoulders...

Society has some pretty unrealistic expectations for feminine beauty,  but there are a few things women at least have in common...

We might not be a size 0, but biologically, we all have shape and skin, just like the ideal woman does.
Our looks might not be fantastic, but we can do our makeup/hair/clothes/ whatever in a certain way, just like the "beautiful ones." ("Models" is a very accurate term.)
Be perfect as they are perfect. Or at least copy the perfect ones.
Your future depends on it.

ISSUE 5: Some of the rules of dressing is a class issue. (I theorize here.)
Professional/ upper classes show enough skin to look good and to maximize their power, but not enough to look desperate (weakness). They are not more modest; they are more self-conscious.
Lower classes aren't that self- conscious, and their girls don't know the rules.

The upper classes dress in such a way as to make them available/ attractive... to certain types. Others need not apply, however much they might want to.

Lower classes aren't trying to exclude anybody, but they do exclude without realizing it: the upper/ professional classes.

ISSUE 6: Appearance is a function of identity. We associate a person with their body; we are our bodies.

In history, dress indicated ethnicity, social standing, work.

Now, it's supposed to reveal you- your personality, tastes, opinions. (Remember that people don't generally ask women for these things. Clothes are a "voice" for a woman's internal self. Our bodies could be identical to a robot's and no one would care; our clothes are us.)

We accept that people expect looks and a nice body. Our clothes are what we want people to think of us.
"Associate me with ____________."
Group identity: "I am a member of ____________."
Friends: "I am ____________ type."

Teenagers especially pick an adjective...
- Hipster - Athletic - Designer - Punk/ metal/ rocker - Hip-hop
- Vintage - Preppy/ classy   -Sexy -Unique/ artistic -Country
- Dramatic - Edgy - I-don't-care/ casual
...and find clothes to correspond.

* * * * * * *
So. When someone tells us to be "modest"...
DOG WHISTLE! Here are the panic triggers:

ISSUE 1: Die to flesh.
ISSUE 2: Don't be admired.
ISSUE 3: Love/ security quest... handicapped
ISSUE 4: Power limited 
ISSUE 6: Be weird. (But my identity...!)  Alienation/ differentness from the rest (and most people don't want to be different)

+ resentment...  Why do I have to conform to other's rules?! This is exactly what the Muslims do! Make the women cover up because the men won't control themselves. The men are the problem. Why the body shaming?! Why can't I just do what I want? "Why is my freedom being judged by another's conscience?" / “This is sexist!”

http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/26/opinion/drexler-loyola-memo/
* * * * * * *
TRY INSTEAD:

Issue 1: Re: The flesh

Be alive to God. He gave you your precious, valuable, useful body for more than being wanted.
Use your body to live, not just appear!
Serve others with it!
Enjoy it!
Appreciate it!
Be strong!
Love your brothers with it.

Eph. 4:17-2417 This I say, therefore, and testify in the Lord, that you should no longer walk as the rest of[d] the Gentiles walk, in the futility of their mind, 18 having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; 19 who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.
20 But you have not so learned Christ, 21 if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: 22 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, 23 and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24 and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.
***
1 Thessalonians 4:3"3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, 5 not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified. 7 For God did not call us to uncleanness, but in holiness. 8 Therefore he who rejects this does not reject man, but God, who has also given[a] us His Holy Spirit. 9 But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another;
***
Romans 13:1010 Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
11 And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. 12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. 13 Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.
***
Galatians 5:13
13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”[b] 
***
(On not being either immodest nor modesty-pharisees, but in all things both free and loving):
 4 Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand. ...
7 For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and rose[b] and lived again, that He might be Lord of both the dead and the living. 
10 But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.[c] 11 For it is written:
“As I live, says the Lord,
Every knee shall bow to Me,
And every tongue shall confess to God.”[d]
12 So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. 13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.
14 I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. 15 Yet if your brother is grieved because of your [clothing] food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your [clothing] food the one for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; 17 for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 For he who serves Christ in these things[e] is acceptable to God and approved by men.
19 Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of [clothing]food. All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense. 21 It is good neither to eat meat nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak.
1 Corinthians 8
9 But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak. 10 For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will not the conscience of him who is weak be emboldened to eat those things offered to idols? 11 And because of your knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? 12 But when you thus sin against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. 13 Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never again eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble. 

Issue 2: Re: Admiration/ acceptance

Be admired for the right things.
- Kindness
- Honor
- Humor
- Intelligence
- Virtue
(The hidden, imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which are precious in the sight of God.)

May your dress facilitate this admiration, not distract from. Dress nice, just not sexually. Present yourself as a lady, not an object.
(Proverbs 31 is as intimidating as a Victoria Secret model to Christian women, but look what she's admired for!)

Issue 3: Re: Love/ security

Love/ security/ future in Christ-
While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. God knit us together in our mother's womb. Foreknew us before the creation of the earth. Willed us into existence. Made us to love us and to have us become one with Him. He has plans for us, good works foreordained for us to walk in. Abundant life. Joy. Love. Family. Bearing much fruit.

No one else died for me, bled for me, prays for me, or has invested/ given so much for/in/to me...

He is my end, my home, my peace.

Eph. 1: 3-143 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, 4 just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 5 having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, 6 to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
7 In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace 8 which He made to abound toward us in all wisdom and prudence, 9 having made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, 10 that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times He might gather together in one all things in Christ, both[a] which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him. 11 In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, 12 that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory.
13 In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise, 14 who[b] is the guarantee of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, to the praise of His glory.
* * *
All of Romans 8, but especially:
26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us[b] with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written:
“For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”[c]
37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Issue 4: Re: Power

Virtue = power under control
Use your body to serve others, not as a tool for self. Sexuality is a gift, not a matter of advertising. It is a gift from God and subject to His limits, not our own.

Also, humility: it's not about me and my awesomeness. Fight pride, covetousness, desperation by being thankful to God for all His gracious gifts; our happiness is not dependent on our exploitation of our own resources. Trust that He is good and will be good.

Philippians 2: 22 Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, 2 fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
5 Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, 7 but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. 9 Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
***
Rom. 6:1212 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. 13 And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.
***
1 Corinthians 6:1919 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body[c] and in your spirit, which are God’s.
***
1 Timothy 6:1111 But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. 12 Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.
***
Isaiah 40:6The voice said, “Cry out!”
And he[b] said, “What shall I cry?”
“All flesh is grass,
And all its loveliness is like the flower of the field.
7 The grass withers, the flower fades,
Because the breath of the Lord blows upon it;
Surely the people are grass.
8 The grass withers, the flower fades,
But the word of our God stands forever.”
***
Proverbs 31: 30Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
***
1 Peter 1: 1313 Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 14 as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; 15 but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.”[c]
17 And if you call on the Father, who without partiality judges according to each one’s work, conduct yourselves throughout the time of your stay here in fear; 18 knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.
22 Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit[d] in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, 23 having been born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides forever,[e] 24 because
“All flesh is as grass,
And all the glory of man[f] as the flower of the grass.
The grass withers,
And its flower falls away,
25 But the word of the Lord endures forever.”[g]

Issue 5: Re: Class rules

Straight up fact: People judge you on the basis of your looks and clothing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5xFD1bFujg
(Trailer for TV show "Love, Lust, or Run"- Women come in with their own "look" they think represents them (usually risque or hard core). They find out what people on the street really think of them. Then, they're made over to a look that represents them, but that others can "love". This is prime time TV.)

People look down on provocative clothing.  The issue is not whether they should judge you or not. This is very pragmatic: they will. They will assume things about you. Read articles. Take a survey: show pictures of different women to different people. What adjective would they use to describe each one? What would they assume?

Yes, dear, you will get attention if you wear that, but what kind? (And please remember that you are not going out into a world of attractive, decent men in your age/ interest range. The majority of people who will see you are not people you'd want to attract sexually for a variety of reasons. You might think they don't care or think about you. Most won't. But some might notice you. You will come in contact with women, old men, middle aged married men, jerks, womanizers, adolescented perverted boys, young children, and the brief slice of eligible men you might have in mind. You don't know what they're thinking, but better to dress in a way that represents you well.)

"Dress for respect." "Dignify the profession." etc.

Dress in a way that doesn't make you/others uncomfortable. Think of it as a subset of manners: acting in a way that fits the occasion and makes others comfortable. Consider the occasion. Consider the context. Learn the "rules". http://careerservices.calpoly.edu/content/student/attire4hire
http://www.salisbury.edu/careerservices/Students/JobFair/Dress/Dress.html

This is where it gets practical: find examples of classy ladies. Emulate their style. Go shopping.
http://www.kohls.com/sale-event/womens-career.jsp

http://www1.macys.com/shop/womens-clothing/womens-business-attire?id=39096&edge=hybrid

http://shop.nordstrom.com/c/womens-clothing-wear-to-work

Learn to dress well. Wherever you go, clothing should not be an issue. Dress so you don't stand out in a bad way, but where you'll be accepted for yourself.

Issue 6: Re: Identity

You are more than your clothes. 
But you can still wear pretty/ creative/ nice things you feel comfortable in. You ought to feel comfortable enough leaving the door to forget about what you look like for the rest of the day. No burkhas necessary. You were called to freedom, bros.

Only, do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love, serve one another.

Glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's.
...For you were bought at a price.