"Something always told me I wasn't no rich white woman."

thought one:
"Break a fear-of-man problem by aggressively loving people." ~A. Seu

thought two:
you know, it's funny how much attention and adoration is lavished on celebrities of one kind or another. i think we can't handle the supreme unestimable worth of "the other" all around us, so we try to cram the value of six point something billion people into select mortals who happened to be packaged well.

thought three:
“In my state, the mother is the most important citizen.” ~A. Hitler

thought three and a half:
"The Nazi regime awarded a bronze “Honor Cross of German Motherhood” to “fit” Germanic (“Aryan”) women who had four or five children, silver for six or seven, and gold for eight or more." Deadly Medicine

[websites "recommended for visitors 11 years and older" scare me.:-/]

you think you have it bad... !POLITIKAS!

THE CONTESTANTS:

O captain my captain?
Ollanta Humala
"The etnocaceristas therefore strongly embrace identification with their Incan heritage, nationalization of the country's industries (beginning with recently privatized industries), the reintroduction of the death penalty, the legalization of coca cultivation, and a strong anti-Chilean stance" [yes, down with the Chileans.]

The Latin American Kennedy?
Alan García
"His presidency was marked by bouts of hyperinflation, social turmoil, human rights violations, increasing violence, increase of blackouts in Lima, international financial isolation, a failed attempt to confiscate the 2 main banks and economic downturn." [but he's really a great speaker!]

Mrs. President?
Lourdes Flores
"si la justicia no es rapido, no es justicia" if the justicia is not rapid, it's not justice.
"es injusto que los que mas trabajan sean los mas pobres" it is injust that those that work the most are the poorest. [two lefts make this one alright... plus, she kinda looks like my aunt]

Good old Fujimori is in jail in Chile right now and quite preoccupied with his upcoming nupitals. Plus, Peru says he's not allowed to run for president until 2010.

As to our friend the venerable Chairman Gonzalo, never fear- he has not quite departed yet... i believe he, too, is sitting in some jail right now, brooding, even as i type... awaiting retrial...

Personally, i vote for Tupac Amaru II, but a) he was drawn and quartered a couple of centuries ago and b) i am not a peruvian citizen.

Where did Vargas Llosa run off to now? oh yeah... europe.

"Practice resurrection"

Manifesto:
The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

by Wendell Berry

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.

And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.

When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.

Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.

Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.

Listen to carrion -- put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.

Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.

As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go.

Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

"Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front" from The Country of Marriage, copyright ® 1973 by Wendell Berry

***

i didn't know whether to keep sparsing out quotes as subject titles or give in and print the whole thing... thank you; this was EXCELLENT and appreciated.

"Walter does not ignore people."

thought one:
"democracy is only superior to a dictorship when the People have a higher moral standard than a dictator would."

...response?

thought two:
there was a story about a puerto rican girl on the news the other day that absolutely infuriated me. i cried and yelled and made a big fuss; i was not happy.

i was not happy because in a parallel universe, it could have been my story.
but it wasn't because there are no parallel universes and God chose to have mercy on me in this one.

but man...

she was 14 years old on Sept. 11, 2001.

she had a Muslim friend, whom she said always walked around "as if she had a really good secret the whole world didn't know about."

the friend invited her to her mosque [or something... i was distracted] and the puerto rican, roman catholic girl liked it and started coming. [?]

she converted at age 16.

her family wasn't so thrilled, but she said she has found a lot of peace. [or something to that effect; i wasn't paying much attention till this part:]

when asked if she's happy now, she says yes and no...
yes, she's happy in her new faith, but now, she'll be on the bus and hear girls talking about makeup and boys and she has pain because they don't THINK about anything... and she was the same way when she was that age.

she is unhappy because she goes outside and sees half-naked women on billboards advertising everything from clothes to cars to toasters.

she is happy because of her faith and her faith community, but she is sad because of the sin in the world.

huh. [insert screaming and object-kicking.]
i just don't know. send the entire teenage population of the united states to spend a month with a Spirit- filled evangelical family in the 3rd world?

i love the Church, but these United States...

thought three:
But as for me,
I will come
into Your house
in the
multitude
of Your mercy;

In fear
of You
I will
worship
toward Your holy
temple.

Psalms 5:7 que sea

"The Vox Populi is not always the voice of God"

thought one:
what does it say about me that my blood-pressure can rise about events that occcured before i was born?

~stupid treaty of versailles (1919)
~stupid rebels. stupid civil war. (1860-1865)
~stupid alamo. (1836)

i hate war like i hate materialism and hypocrisy. i hate it verily, but cannot afford to expend the mental energy. but then again, i'm a girl... figures that i wouldn't understand such matters.

thought two:
I was trying to figure out... everything... no, wait; hold on. more focused than that. ok. how one approaches the idea of a "normal" family or a "holy" life. i would say this is probably pretty common sense and applicable in many different respects, but it helped me to sort things out:

~EXPECT: when one interacts with a behavior constantly or significantly repeated over a long duration of time. one expects the ideal as normal.
*eg: Growing up, my family always ate dinner together. Therefore, not eating together as a family seems to me grossly unhealthy and sad.

~COVET: when one sees a behavior repeatedly and desires to appropriate the practice into one's life.
*eg: When I went to Peru, I saw the brothers their witness at any given opportunity. As it was beautiful, I want[ed] to be able to do that myself.

~WISH: when one hears/reads about a behavior, or maybe remembers a given behavior from one's past, and has varying degrees of longing for the actualization of such, though doubting the probability.
*eg: In most girls' childhoods, they believe they will grow up to marry Prince Charming. Generally about age 15, they have [many times] *realized* that there are no Prince Charmings. Therefore, though they *wish* these fine specimens did exist, they stop holding out for such ones and settle for punk rockers. or cowboys, as the case may be.

thought three:

"16Your words were found, and I ate them,
And Your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart;
For I am called by Your name,
O Lord God of hosts."

Jeremiah 15:16

"What sort of adorer of Majesty am I/ If I consider religion good only for the weak like myself?"

thought one: courtesy the Rev. B. Hayes

"People generally marry the person they deserve to marry."

Man. That'll preach. That'll put the fear into ya, is what it'll do. ...just consider the implications...!

thought two:
been reading Malachi. (it's real good... read it for yourself.) and, man, I love the Spirit... even when He puts the hurting on you, it's beautiful.

one thought to guard against stupid prayers: could I pray this kneeling in a north korean prayer meeting?

misericordia, Senor.

thought three:
i'm alright with being the poorest person in a room. really, i rather savour it; makes me feel downright virtuous.

but i cannot bear being the most privilaged. it makes me nauseated.

how am i going to survive my beloved peru?

"peace is joy resting; joy is peace dancing"

thought one:
"beyond all these things, put on love, which is the bond of perfection."

Humility is... so beautiful. I have yet to find anything so lovely as those sincere who refuse to obstruct the Spirit of Christ by their self-consciousness. It makes me want to cry... in a good way....

thought two:

...because "everybody" else manufactures these "cages," these personas they put on or slip into to prevent (or try to prevent) themselves from vulnerability. Sometimes the cages are elaborate and impressive; everybody else just stands in awe. Then there are those of us whose cages are pathetic, and, being self-aware individuals, we lament the flimsyness of our "defense."

Our souls have to be guarded. We can't let ourselves look stupid. We can't let ourselves look like we think we're smart. We can't let ourselves look overly spiritual and arrogant. We can't let ourselves look underspiritual. We can't let ourselves look too holy and aloof. We can't let ourselves look too sinful. We can't let ourselves look eager. We can't let ourselves look lonely. We can't let ourselves look like we need anything. It's like constantly living as on reality TV, constantly feeling there are cameras and an audience of a million watching us impassively. For every action, one must contemplate all possible scenarios for reaction on the part of the "other". In jr-high, it's borderline purgatory... even now I can't shake it.

If you can't relate... praise God MUCH, and pray for me and us OFTEN.

thought three:
Global terrorism is the "other side of the coin" of globalism.

16 Thus says the Lord of hosts:

"Do not listen to the words of the prophets who prophesy to you.
They make you worthless;
They speak a vision of their own heart,
Not from the mouth of the Lord.
17 They continually say to those who despise Me,
'The Lord has said, "You shall have peace"';
And to everyone who walks according to the dictates of his own heart, they say,
'No evil shall come upon you.'"

18 For who has stood in the counsel of the Lord,
And has perceived and heard His word?
Who has marked His word and heard it?
19 Behold, a whirlwind of the Lord has gone forth in fury--
A violent whirlwind!
It will fall violently on the head of the wicked.
20 The anger of the Lord will not turn back
Until He has executed and performed the thoughts of His heart.
In the latter days you will understand it perfectly.

...
23 "Am I a God near at hand," says the Lord,
"And not a God afar off?
24 Can anyone hide himself in secret places,
So I shall not see him?" says the Lord;
"Do I not fill heaven and earth?" says the Lord.

~from Jeremiah 23

***
hebrews 12:28, 29 amen.

"what's that dash between the two dates on the gravestone? it's your life..."

thought one:
"Never miss out on a chance to keep your mouth shut..."~> La Dona Eliot



thought two:
Fair. it's not. that i see so much. and so many see so little.

explain? i will...

i've seen what beautiful Christian holiness look like... in my mother first, then waboom-kablooey in my heroes in Peru, in so many I've met since being born of the Spirit...

i've seen what stunning Christian intelligence looks like... in my brother and his friends, in my professors, in Ravi Zacharias and C.S. Lewis...

i've seen what the sublime family of God looks like... in my own, in the Trujillos, in our Church, at LeTourneau...

i've heard so much good teaching, and seen so many good examples. i may not be in the middle of a great awakening, but there are sincere kids all around me.

and so many don't have ANY of that... if they're fortunate, some have a similitude of the Gospel, which, even diluted, is the power of God unto salvation, but ai de mi so many don't have the riches of what salvation is all about... the sanctifying of the whole person to God... the privilege of being among those whose lives are undergoing such...

this is my version of a rant. i'm ANGRY, exceedingly so, that this is true... but where do i aim my anger? at the beloved Church of God? at this pseudo-Christianity everywhere? at myself? i can never attain to anger that profits... its just circular and vain... ugh...

thought three:
"I am obsessed with perfection in words."


* * * *

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